This is the epic tale of Alexander the Great, and it truly is epic, mostly in length. The movie clocks in at just under three hours, and it feels at least that long. Much of the length comes in because of the style of the telling. The tale is told by jumping back and forth through clips, presumably in order to hold some sort of mystique.
Unfortunately, it's a style that is used more and more frequently these days, and it's getting worse all the time. While linear storytelling appears to be going out of vogue, and directors want to maintain a sense of mystery as long as they can, they really need to learn to tell their stories first. That's not the case here.
We follow Alexander at various points in his life, but we see him as a very young boy as his mother, Olympias (Angelina Jolie) as she is attacked by Alexander's father, Philip (Val Kilmer). Strangely, the young boy is in the bed as this is happening, and presumably it does a lot to shape his world view, though he is likely too young to make sense of it right then.
The next defining moment comes years later, at a horse sale, when Alexander decides he wants a beautiful black stallion, and his father, seeking to humiliate the young boy, says he can have him if he can ride him. Alexander steps up to the challenge and breaks the wild beast, which will become his steed (apparently) for years to come.
Though there are a number of years jumbled together, we next see Alexander as he begins his conquest of Asia, slowly pushing further and further East, in search of the elusive circular route that he learned of from Aristotle when he was a boy. This will allow him to return victorious, and be a much larger man than anyone, and also allow them to return home much faster than the land route - an important distinction when supporting a force of 150,000. Alas, such a route was not to be found, and though his conquering ways served him well, slowly dissension worked it's way through the ranks, and as he made his way to India, it was nearly mutiny.
India, despite the legends to the contrary, didn't work out too well, and a vicious battle there nearly killed Alexander, and though the army did survive, it didn't seem to be the same army that was there previously. Something was missing, and the "beloved" Alexander simply was no more. At that point, he elected to return home, for he and the army had been gone for many years, and it was time.
It was here that we finally saw that it was Alexander's mother who was behind the assassination of his father, not the enemy king that originally sent Alexander off into Asia on his quest. No surprise there, really, she did seem to be a bit of a schemer, and it was this that drove a wedge between the two of them - but the telling of the tale in such a jumbled mess was but one of the things that made the story so long and drawn out. If you want an epic worth watching, try Kingdom of Heaven instead.
Rated: R for violence and some sexuality/nudity.
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