Celluloid Heroes

Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor) starts his day off like every other day - get up, get dressed, find out that he's eating too much of this or that and that he can't get bacon and has to eat something that he doesn't want. Then he has to find out that he can't find the answers to his questions, which no one else seems to have. They just seem to be fine with going through their lives, why is it that he is different? And he has these dreams about boats and things that come into his head.

The world that Lincoln lives in is self-contained. It has to be, since the outside world is contaminated. Every once in a while, a survivor is pulled in from the outside, and they have to help to train them to do even the most basic of tasks. Yet still, even years later, these people keep coming in. Where are all these survivors coming from? How do they continue to survive, without being overcome by the contamination? Why does no one know? Why does no one care?

Read All of "The Island (2005) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 30, 2006 in Science Fiction

Paul "Wrecking" Crewe (Burt Reynolds) had it all. He was an NFL quarterback. But it wasn't enough. So he shaved a few points in a game to make a little bit more. The only problem was that he got caught, and when he did, he not only got thrown out, he earned the scorn of everyone else - even convicts. This doesn't concern most people, and it doesn't concern him.

But when he decides that he's had enough of just being the boy toy, he takes off in the car and ends up driving it into the bay. That earns him a trip to the beautiful state prison, courtesy of the warden who wants to get his semi-pro football team (consisting of the guards) to the next level: The championship. And he wants Paul Crewe to get him there by coaching. There's just one problem, and that is that Crewe doesn't want to do it.

Read All of "The Longest Yard (1974) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 29, 2006 in Drama

Helen has the face that launched a thousand ships, but this story isn't really about her, except in a small way. The story is of course about Troy, the city to which Paris (Orlando Bloom) takes Helen when they fall in love and Paris hides her aboard a ship when they leave to return to Troy.

Unfortunately when Helen's husband Menelaus finds out that she's gone, stolen by a much younger man, he's not happy about it - and his brother, Agamemnon just happens to be the king, which means that he just might be able to do something about it. So the two enlist the aid of Achilles (Brad Pitt), the best fighter the world has ever seen, to go get her back. Here's where the thousand ships come in, as they set sail for Troy.

Read All of "Troy (2004) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 28, 2006 in Drama

The fourth movie in the Harry Potter franchise continues to raise the bar.

It's not so much that the story gets any better - that stays pretty constant. The acting does as well. But the effects are what really see an improvement. Where we first saw just glimpses of brooms that resembled stick people from a distance, now flying scenes actually look like someone flying - or at least a close approximation.

Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) returns to Hogwarts for another year of magical instruction, only this year it seems there is a new twist - the Tri-Wizard tournament, where champions of each of the major schools of magic compete for the Tri-Wizard cup and eternal glory (and face possible death in the process). Champions must be 17 to compete, but of course you know that Harry will be involved somehow.

Read All of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 27, 2006 in Adventure

Charlie (John Cusack) is a mob lawyer. In Wichita. I just don't even know where to go from there. Apparently there is enough business to keep him busy.

From what I can tell, it is generated mostly by strip clubs. But on this night (which happens to be Christmas Eve), Charlie has joined forces with Vic (Billy Bob Thornton) to steal something over $2 million from the big boss, Bill Guerrard (Randy Quaid).

Read All of "The Ice Harvest (2005) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 26, 2006 in Drama

As a young child, Violet (Jaime Pressly of My Name is Earl), her sister Ivy (the only - tenuous - relation to "Ivy" in "Poison Ivy") and her mother are thrown out of the house when her mother is found to be having an affair with what appears to be the gardener.

This is a problem not because her mother is married to the man of the house, as you might expect (and as might be normal), but because she is also having an affair with the man of the house, and this comes to light in loud fashion when the woman of the house walks in. Thus, they are kicked out, and have to find a new place to live.

Read All of "Poison Ivy - The New Seduction (1997) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 26, 2006 in Thriller

Kate (Meg Ryan) is afraid to fly for the first time, and as a result, her soon-to-be-husband Charlie (Timothy Hutton) heads off to Paris without her.

On his first night there, he calls her at exactly six o'clock. On the next night, it's a few minutes after six. On some indeterminate night (perhaps the third, perhaps several nights later), it's nearly 6:45, and he has some bad news. He's fallen in love with a French woman, who he will be marrying, and he won't be coming home. This can't be good.

Kate decides that rather than sitting around and moping, she is going to do something about this. She packs up her bags and gets on a plane and heads to Paris. There's just one problem. She's still afraid to fly. It gets worse when a rude, smelly Frenchman named Luc (played by the typically enjoyable Kevin Kline) sits next to her on the plane.

Read All of "French Kiss (1995) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 24, 2006 in Romance

Peter Gibbons (Ron Livingston) is having the worst day of his life. There isn't anything special about today. It's just the day after yesterday, which was the worst day of his life until today came along.

That's the way that it is for him. Each day is worse than the day that proceeded it, so anytime that you see him, you can be sure that you're seeing him on the worse day of his life. That's life in a cubicle with Peter. But things are about to change for the better.

Read All of "Office Space (1999) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 24, 2006 in Comedy

Tom McHugh (Ethan Hawke) has always played second fiddle to his older brother, Craig (Brian McNamara). But recently he's even had to take a back seat to Napoleon, the family's prize-winning dog.

At least he'll catch a break because his mom and dad are taking the dog to a contest out of town, meaning that he'll be on his own for the weekend, and he can watch the house sitter next door (Teri Polo) in peace. Just after his parents leave the driveway, however, his brother Craig pulls in.

Read All of "Mystery Date (1991) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 24, 2006 in Romance

Just a few days before the UK switches over from Pounds to Euros, a gang decides to rob a train that holds the old notes headed for destruction. One of the robbers hides on the train and periodically throws out bundles of money to his cohorts stationed about the country.

One of these bags, however, doesn't land in the hands of the gang members, it lands on the clubhouse of Damian (Alexander Nathan Etel), who thinks that perhaps the money came from God in response to his prayers. Then he just needs to decide what to do with it.

Read All of "Millions (2004) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 22, 2006 in Family

When a renegade Russian submarine captain (Sean Connery) disappears into the North Atlantic with Russia's latest technical marvel, it is at first assumed that he intends to start a war. That is, after all, what the Red Octoberwas designed to do. But at least one person, Jack Ryan (Alec Baldwin), believes differently.

He has studied Marko Ramius, and he has even met him once before, and he doesn't think that he would do something like that. In fact, Jack thinks that he's trying to defect. There are just two problems with that. First, anyone with a multi-billion dollar war machine may do just about anything that they want. And second, this machine just happens to have a super-secret caterpillar drive that means they can't be tracked in any traditional way, so finding him is another thing entirely.

Read All of "The Hunt for Red October (1990) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 19, 2006 in Drama

Danny O'Shea (Rick Moranis) was always the last kid picked when it came to just about anything, but especially in football. This fact was always made worse by the fact that his brother, Kevin, wasn't just Kevin, he was the great Kevin O'Shea (Ed O'Neill), who won the Heisman Trophy in college and had an amazing career.

Now he's a car salesman, but he's still the great Kevin O'Shea, and his Cowboys are the team to be on. When Danny's daughter Becky, also know as The Icebox (Shawna Waldron) is denied a spot on the team, everyone knows it is because she is a girl. After all, The Icebox is the best player in town - what else could it be?

Read All of "Little Giants (1994) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 18, 2006 in Family

Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor) starts his day off like every other day - get up, get dressed, find out that he's eating too much of this or that and that he can't get bacon and has to eat something that he doesn't want. Then he has to find out that he can't find the answers to his questions, which no one else seems to have. They just seem to be fine with going through their lives, why is it that he is different? And he has these dreams about boats and things that come into his head.

The world that Lincoln lives in is self-contained. It has to be, since the outside world is contaminated. Every once in a while, a survivor is pulled in from the outside, and they have to help to train them to do even the most basic of tasks. Yet still, even years later, these people keep coming in. Where are all these survivors coming from? How do they continue to survive, without being overcome by the contamination? Why does no one know? Why does no one care?

Read All of "The Island (2005) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 30, 2006 in Science Fiction

Paul "Wrecking" Crewe (Burt Reynolds) had it all. He was an NFL quarterback. But it wasn't enough. So he shaved a few points in a game to make a little bit more. The only problem was that he got caught, and when he did, he not only got thrown out, he earned the scorn of everyone else - even convicts. This doesn't concern most people, and it doesn't concern him.

But when he decides that he's had enough of just being the boy toy, he takes off in the car and ends up driving it into the bay. That earns him a trip to the beautiful state prison, courtesy of the warden who wants to get his semi-pro football team (consisting of the guards) to the next level: The championship. And he wants Paul Crewe to get him there by coaching. There's just one problem, and that is that Crewe doesn't want to do it.

Read All of "The Longest Yard (1974) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 29, 2006 in Drama

Helen has the face that launched a thousand ships, but this story isn't really about her, except in a small way. The story is of course about Troy, the city to which Paris (Orlando Bloom) takes Helen when they fall in love and Paris hides her aboard a ship when they leave to return to Troy.

Unfortunately when Helen's husband Menelaus finds out that she's gone, stolen by a much younger man, he's not happy about it - and his brother, Agamemnon just happens to be the king, which means that he just might be able to do something about it. So the two enlist the aid of Achilles (Brad Pitt), the best fighter the world has ever seen, to go get her back. Here's where the thousand ships come in, as they set sail for Troy.

Read All of "Troy (2004) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 28, 2006 in Drama

The fourth movie in the Harry Potter franchise continues to raise the bar.

It's not so much that the story gets any better - that stays pretty constant. The acting does as well. But the effects are what really see an improvement. Where we first saw just glimpses of brooms that resembled stick people from a distance, now flying scenes actually look like someone flying - or at least a close approximation.

Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) returns to Hogwarts for another year of magical instruction, only this year it seems there is a new twist - the Tri-Wizard tournament, where champions of each of the major schools of magic compete for the Tri-Wizard cup and eternal glory (and face possible death in the process). Champions must be 17 to compete, but of course you know that Harry will be involved somehow.

Read All of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 27, 2006 in Adventure

Charlie (John Cusack) is a mob lawyer. In Wichita. I just don't even know where to go from there. Apparently there is enough business to keep him busy.

From what I can tell, it is generated mostly by strip clubs. But on this night (which happens to be Christmas Eve), Charlie has joined forces with Vic (Billy Bob Thornton) to steal something over $2 million from the big boss, Bill Guerrard (Randy Quaid).

Read All of "The Ice Harvest (2005) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 26, 2006 in Drama

As a young child, Violet (Jaime Pressly of My Name is Earl), her sister Ivy (the only - tenuous - relation to "Ivy" in "Poison Ivy") and her mother are thrown out of the house when her mother is found to be having an affair with what appears to be the gardener.

This is a problem not because her mother is married to the man of the house, as you might expect (and as might be normal), but because she is also having an affair with the man of the house, and this comes to light in loud fashion when the woman of the house walks in. Thus, they are kicked out, and have to find a new place to live.

Read All of "Poison Ivy - The New Seduction (1997) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 26, 2006 in Thriller

Kate (Meg Ryan) is afraid to fly for the first time, and as a result, her soon-to-be-husband Charlie (Timothy Hutton) heads off to Paris without her.

On his first night there, he calls her at exactly six o'clock. On the next night, it's a few minutes after six. On some indeterminate night (perhaps the third, perhaps several nights later), it's nearly 6:45, and he has some bad news. He's fallen in love with a French woman, who he will be marrying, and he won't be coming home. This can't be good.

Kate decides that rather than sitting around and moping, she is going to do something about this. She packs up her bags and gets on a plane and heads to Paris. There's just one problem. She's still afraid to fly. It gets worse when a rude, smelly Frenchman named Luc (played by the typically enjoyable Kevin Kline) sits next to her on the plane.

Read All of "French Kiss (1995) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 24, 2006 in Romance

Peter Gibbons (Ron Livingston) is having the worst day of his life. There isn't anything special about today. It's just the day after yesterday, which was the worst day of his life until today came along.

That's the way that it is for him. Each day is worse than the day that proceeded it, so anytime that you see him, you can be sure that you're seeing him on the worse day of his life. That's life in a cubicle with Peter. But things are about to change for the better.

Read All of "Office Space (1999) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 24, 2006 in Comedy

Tom McHugh (Ethan Hawke) has always played second fiddle to his older brother, Craig (Brian McNamara). But recently he's even had to take a back seat to Napoleon, the family's prize-winning dog.

At least he'll catch a break because his mom and dad are taking the dog to a contest out of town, meaning that he'll be on his own for the weekend, and he can watch the house sitter next door (Teri Polo) in peace. Just after his parents leave the driveway, however, his brother Craig pulls in.

Read All of "Mystery Date (1991) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 24, 2006 in Romance

Just a few days before the UK switches over from Pounds to Euros, a gang decides to rob a train that holds the old notes headed for destruction. One of the robbers hides on the train and periodically throws out bundles of money to his cohorts stationed about the country.

One of these bags, however, doesn't land in the hands of the gang members, it lands on the clubhouse of Damian (Alexander Nathan Etel), who thinks that perhaps the money came from God in response to his prayers. Then he just needs to decide what to do with it.

Read All of "Millions (2004) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 22, 2006 in Family

When a renegade Russian submarine captain (Sean Connery) disappears into the North Atlantic with Russia's latest technical marvel, it is at first assumed that he intends to start a war. That is, after all, what the Red Octoberwas designed to do. But at least one person, Jack Ryan (Alec Baldwin), believes differently.

He has studied Marko Ramius, and he has even met him once before, and he doesn't think that he would do something like that. In fact, Jack thinks that he's trying to defect. There are just two problems with that. First, anyone with a multi-billion dollar war machine may do just about anything that they want. And second, this machine just happens to have a super-secret caterpillar drive that means they can't be tracked in any traditional way, so finding him is another thing entirely.

Read All of "The Hunt for Red October (1990) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 19, 2006 in Drama

Danny O'Shea (Rick Moranis) was always the last kid picked when it came to just about anything, but especially in football. This fact was always made worse by the fact that his brother, Kevin, wasn't just Kevin, he was the great Kevin O'Shea (Ed O'Neill), who won the Heisman Trophy in college and had an amazing career.

Now he's a car salesman, but he's still the great Kevin O'Shea, and his Cowboys are the team to be on. When Danny's daughter Becky, also know as The Icebox (Shawna Waldron) is denied a spot on the team, everyone knows it is because she is a girl. After all, The Icebox is the best player in town - what else could it be?

Read All of "Little Giants (1994) Review" »
Posted by Chad Everett on November 18, 2006 in Family