It used to be that I was a big fan of vampire movies. I think the first one that I ever saw cast George Hamilton in Love at First Bite, which made no sense. The man who insured his tan was a vampire? It was more a comedy than a horror film. It probably isn’t relevant, except perhaps the makers of this film were similarly influenced, and that is why they named their film what they did (George Hamilton, The Hamiltons, I don’t know).

Regardless, I’m starting to think that whenever I see a film dubbed “the thinking person’s horror film”, I should run the other way. Let’s face it – horror fans don’t want to think. I really don’t consider myself a fan of blood and gore, but I also don’t want a complete snore-fest either, and that’s really what I found here, along with most of the other movies from the 2006 After Dark Horrorfest.

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While James Bond was reinvented in 2006 with Casino Royale, chances are that it never would have happened without Jason Bourne. In 2002, Matt Damon brought Jason Bourne to life, and with him, ushered in an entirely new sort of spy to a world that had never seen his like.

Most of us were used to having our martinis served a particular way. Maybe you had seen Pierce Brosnan as Bond, or maybe you caught him in The Thomas Crown Affair before that – but it’s still the old-school spy. No longer. Spies have grown up. Or maybe they haven’t. Instead of being sauve and debonair, they are now rough and tumble, in step with what the younger movie-going crowd wants.

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The Wild Hogs of the title aren’t exactly a biker gang. They just pretend to be one on weekends and for the occasional ride during the week. But Doug (Tim Allen) and his crew have all hit something of a milestone. Actually, it’s a mid-life crisis. Just don’t tell them that.

So one day on their ride they decide that they are ready to take a real ride. A cross-country ride. And what a ride it will be, with the wind in their hair (or what hair they have left, at any rate) and a real chance at freedom. Or at least as close as they are probably going to get at any point in the near future.

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I can’t say if I’m a Harry Potter fan or not. At least one of the kids is, as he’s read the books (even if he’s not supposed to have read all of them yet). The other one is, because his brother is, but he’s actually getting at the age where he’s starting to be contrary about it, so I’m not even sure how to classify him.

Whatever the case, I think the movies in the series are starting to fall into a bit of a rut. Either that, or I am. I can certainly admit to enjoying the first, second, and probably even the third in the series. But by the time the four came along, it was getting to be a bit much. I think it had to do with the size of the stories. The Sorcerer’s Stone was three-hundred something pages. The Order of the Phoenix was nearly 900! At some point, it’s just too much for my brain to handle.

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This is one of those movies that surprises you – or at least it did me. Quite frankly, I don’t even remember why it was that we watched it. Perhaps it was a suggestion from a friend. But whatever the reason, we decided that we’d sit down with the family and see if it was any good. In the end, we were glad that we did.

It definitely starts off a bit slowly – in the not-to-distant future, Noah (Chris O’Neil) and his sister Emma (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) going through some toys such as stuffed animals, trying to find something to do with them. It’s really a scene that most parents today might see at any point in any life. But then something a bit unusual happens.

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Overall, the movies of the 2006 After Dark Horrorfest weren’t that great, but this one wasn’t bad. Now I realize that the movies weren’t big-budget films, but that’s okay. Movies don’t have to cost a lot of money to be good. To say it another way, just because they cost a lot of money doesn’t mean that they will be any good. They might be horrible.

In this case, we see a few friends at a funeral, and after, they decide to drown their sorrows and make what – by most estimations – would probably be a bad decision. They dance on some graves to celebrate the fact that they are alive. Why would they do this? Because they were told to do so. Not directly, mind you, but because while they were mourning the death of their friend, they found an envelope at the grave, and upon opening it, they were told to “dance upon graves and celebrate life”. A poem of sorts. So they did. It wasn’t written to them – someone had just left it, they read it, and that’s what they did.

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