Celluloid Heroes

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) Review

Chad Everett — Sun, 27 May 2007 21:00:00 -0500

When Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) wakes up, he knows that he doesn't want to go to school. He's ready to take a day off and stop to take a look around. If you don't, life just might pass you by. But in order to do that, he has to convince his parents that he's sick enough to stay home, but not sick enough to go to the doctor.

In order to do that, Ferris gives us his plan. He's going for the clammy hands. While he's bent over from coughing, he licks the palms, which gives them the wet feeling. He also gives us a point-by-point on-screen blow of why not to go for a fever (you might end up at the doctor's office). Which is a little odd, really, because the on-screen thing isn't used elsewhere. But it works, and his parents head to work and he has the day off. Now he just has to get through it.

The first task is to get his friend Cameron Frye (Alan Ruck) to come over and pick him up. The reason being is that Ferris doesn't have a car. So after a few phone calls, Cameron is finally on his way. This gives Ferris time to set up his home in case anyone comes to the door. He has a tape on time-delay if anyone rings the doorbell, and a mannequin and trophy as a counterweight so that if anyone looks in his room, it looks like there is a body in the bed.

The only real problem with this is that he has a snoring sound going in his room. I'm not sure how his snoring can be going, along with the doorbell tape. Perhaps he has more than one tape deck. It's never really mentioned, and we don't see a detailed layout of his stereo system. We'll let that slide.

When Cameron shows up, it's time to get Sloane Peterson (Mia Sara) out of school. She's Ferris' girlfriend, so Ferris needed Cameron. While Cameron calls in to have Sloane dismissed, Ferris gets ready. You see, Ed Rooney (Jeffrey Jones) is onto Ferris, and he suspects that it's Ferris on the phone so he starts berating him about it not really being a dead grandmother. So just about then Ferris calls in on the other line. That does the trick, and Mr. Rooney is very apologetic, getting Sloane out to meet them. Now they just need a car.

Cameron has a car, but he doesn't have a nice car. So they go back over to Cameron's house and get the Ferrari. Not just any Ferrari. A 1961 Ferrari, with just over 100 miles on it. It's Cameron's father's prized possession. Probably more than Cameron himself. Somehow Ferris gets it out of the garage and they're off to the school to pick up Sloane.

They head downtown, and leave the car at a garage, but Cameron isn't too keen on this idea. Ferris thinks that if they slip the guy a $5, it will be fine, and everything looks good. But as they are walking away, the parking attendant and his buddy head out the other side. I hope the car is okay when they get back!

Meanwhile, Ferris has made plans at Chez Quis - if you say it out loud you get "Shakeys", which is a pizza place in some parts of the country. Here, however, it's a fancy French restaurant, and in a classic bit of tomfoolery Ferris manges to get past the stuffy host by pretending to be Abe Froman, the sausage king of Chicago. On their way out, however, they have another problem - it seems that Ferris' dad was eating at the same restaurant! Slipping into the taxi just before his, they make it out just in time.

On the prowl for Ferris, Mr. Rooney thinks that he's caught him in a pizza place, but it's really just a girl in a similar leather jacket, and he gets cola squirted on him. Too bad, because as he's cleaning up, he could see Ferris on the television set, catching a foul ball at an afternoon Cubs game. After the game, Cameron says that he hasn't done much, so Ferris takes it upon himself to make sure Cameron has some fun. He takes over a float in the parade and sing Danke Schoen and a rousing rendition of Twist and Shout, at which point Cameron sure seems to be having a great time.

Then it's getting time to head home, so they go to the garage and pick up the car, only to see that it has two hundred miles on it! Cameron goes into a sort of state of shock, so the three head to Sloane's house, and sit at the pool. That's when Cameron falls head-first into the pool and Ferris has to dive in to save him, but when he comes up, he seems better. He just had to come to grips with things. They had back to Cameron's and set up the car in reverse to get rid of all those extra miles. Unfortunately they don't come off, and then he just loses it.

I mean he really loses it. He starts beating the car. When he does, the jack that's under the car loses its balance and the car goes flying into the ravine. It's a lot worse than a couple hundred extra miles now. His dad will be furious. But Cameron seems to have turned a corner, and he's ready for the heat this is going to bring down on him.

At this point, Ferris is ready to head home, because the time is getting short, so he starts running. Along the way, he runs into his sister Jeanie (Jennifer Grey), fresh from the police station, who wants to catch him before he gets home, so the race is on. Ferris cuts across yards while Jeanie speeds down residential streets and through stop signs.

Once he makes it home, Ferris is greeted by none other than Mr. Rooney, who has the spare key, and isn't going to let Ferris inside. That's when Jeanie opens the door, and lets him inside with a wink of her eye. For Mr. Rooney, she tells him to get lost - and offers him his wallet, which he left in the house earlier. She tosses it out, and the dog takes off after Mr. Rooney. It's going to be an even longer day for him. Ferris rushes upstairs and gets in bed just as his mom and dad get there. He even has time to toss his foul ball at the snoring sound and shut it off, just in time.

The Bottom Line: A great coming-of-age romp through Chicago. Not particularly believable for a college senior to be able to pull off everything that he does, but still quite entertaining to watch the film, and except for the almost non-stop barrage of language, including at least one f-bomb, it would be entertaining for the whole family. As it is, probably best left to the older kids.

Rated PG-13 for pervasive language.

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Clerks II (2006) Review

Chad Everett — Sun, 27 May 2007 11:30:00 -0500

On another indeterminate day, sometime after the original Clerks ended, Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran) is headed back to the Quick Stop. Only today is a little different than another day, because as he lifts the door to the store, he sees something different inside. Fire. Lots and lots of fire. At first, he can't believe it, so he simply shuts the door.

Then he lifts it again, verifies that it is indeed fire, and he calls 911.

While the fire department responds quickly to the call, they are too late to save much of anything. The shell of the building is still there, but both the Quick Stop and the video store are gone. Naturally, Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson) doesn't miss a beat, and walks into the store as if nothing is amiss. Only as he is escorted from the building by someone from the fire department does he realize that he left the coffee pot on again.

Fast forward for a while, perhaps a year (only because it's noted later in the movie that they have been working there a year), and we see Dante and Randal working at Mooby's - a fast-food joint that looks suspiciously like an old Burger King. Emblazoned on the window is their logo: Family, Food and Fun. Somehow I can't quite imagine these guys and that logo going together. They fit more with the Quick Stop. But we'll let it slide for now.

For the rest of the movie, we are pounded with a similar fast-paced style of dialogue as with the original Clerks. It's not quite as good as the original, but rarely is it. We also get to meet Emma (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith), soon to be Mrs. Dante Hicks, as they are getting ready to head to Florida for their new life together.

Then there is Elias (Trevor Fehrman), who is focused on Jesus, the Transformers and the Lord of the Rings. And don't forget Becky (Rosario Dawson), the boss at Mooby's, who is trying to hold things together, despite all attempts by Randal to try and screw things up.

Throughout Dante's last day, it's mostly a parade of customers, from Ben Affleck to Jason Lee to Ethan Suplee to Wanda Sykes, and a parade of fast-paced, sexually and racially charged dialogue to go along with it. Eventually, as with most things in this corner of New Jersey, the end result is talk about nothing.

Comedic relief comes in the form of Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith), who have taken to holding up the wall of Mooby's now that the Quick Stop has closed. There's really only one difference. Since he got busted and was forced to go through rehab, Jay is now born-again, and though he's still a drug dealer, he's one with the Lord.

Ultimately the plot comes down to wondering if Dante is going to leave or if he is going to stay, but it's not just about New Jersey and Florida, it's about Emma and Becky, and even Randal. Emma is the girl of his dreams, but she's doing it for her, while Becky loves him for who he is now, not who she wants him to be later. And she's carrying his baby. Randal is, well, Randal, and sure he's selfish, but under it all he wants Dante to be who he wants to be too, not just who someone else wants him to be. That, and he wants to give him one heck of a going away party.

Unfortunately, that party gets a bit out of hand, and the smoke from the generator makes Dante think that Randal has screwed up again, and so he calls 911. Before the fire department gets there, however, Becky and Emma have it out, Elias learns a new appreciation for things he's never imagined, and everyone gets a show that they could never have imagined.

Once the fire department does show up, everyone is carted off to jail, and that's when Randal lays it on the line. He doesn't want Dante to leave, and make a mistake that he'll regret. More importantly, he doesn't want to be left alone. So with the financial backing of Jay and Silent Bob (you read that right), they are going to reopen the Quick Stop and the video store, and try and start a new life together.

The Bottom Line: All's well that ends well, they say, and if you can stomach it, then chances are good you'll enjoy this one. There is plenty here to offend you if you let it, but it's equal opportunity in that department, with sexually offensive and racially offensive material, as well as plenty of language thrown in, and even a good bit of argument over which movie epic is better. It's not for everyone, but if you don't mind pushing the boundaries, you'll probably like it. If you liked the first one, chances are you'll like this one, though probably not quite as much.

Rated R for pervasive sexual and crude content including aberrant sexuality, strong language and some drug material.

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Penny Dreadful (2006) Review

Chad Everett — Sat, 26 May 2007 20:00:00 -0500

Penny Deerborn (Rachel Miner) doesn't like cars. I mean she really doesn't like cars. Through a series of flashbacks in the movies, we find that she was in a horrible wreck when she was younger that killed both of her parents (at least, they appear to be her parents). So her psychiatrist, Orianna Volkes (Mimi Rogers) is helping her through the process of conquering her fears.

Orianna has written at least one book on the subject (we see it several times as events of the night unfold), and she is helping young Penny to come full circle. To conquer her fears by confronting them. So they are taking a ride into the mountains. It appears that the mountains might be the place where the wreck happened, but that may or may not be important. What is important is that Penny simply doesn't like being in cars. She gets sick just riding along with the door shut.

In fact, she is so sick that they have to stop at a gas station, and it is there that Penny takes the opportunity to do a little self-medicating with some pills she has brought along to help. That eases her pain for a little while, and so she is doing well - until they hit a pothole, which jars her out of her nearly comatose state. Even then, she is doing better, and that is when Orianna realizes something is up and asks for the pills.

But it's when Orianna is distracted that she takes her eyes off of the road and hits a man standing partially in the road, and that's when the fun begins. Fun is something of an operative term, you understand.

The man is wearing a heavy winter coat that shields his face from us, and Orianna says that he talks in a whisper. That may be because he's really cold. You'll recall that they are in - or headed toward - the mountains. And because she just hit him with her car, she suggests that they give him a lift up the mountain a short ways.

She also offers him an apple that's in the back, but he declines, instead unwrapping what appears to be a shish-kabob. And that's about the only complaint that I have about the movie - the shots that take place at night (which make up a good part of the movie) are often so dark that it's hard to see what is in the shot. I'm not watching on a small set, either. We're talking 42 inches of widescreen here. So there should be plenty of real estate. But it's hard to see what's happening.

In any case, their new passenger isn't very talkative, but he does offer them a bite of the shish-kabob, and they politely decline. Perhaps they should have accepted. When they arrive at the destination, it appears that the camp is closed, but that's where he wants to go, so the drop him - what appears to be a couple of miles off the main road.

On their way back down, they hit a bump, and soon realize that they have a tire that's going flat. Partially aided by a skewer stuck in it. Either their passenger was miffed at them not taking the gift he offered or he was eating it so he could stick the skewer into the tire. Whatever the case, it's going flat, and they are still up on the mountain somewhere, so they better get back to the main road and fast.

Naturally, they don't make it. So some ways away from the drop-off point, but still quite a distance from the main road, the tire is completely shredded and utterly useless on the mountain road. Orianna decides to walk to see if she can get a cell phone signal, and leaves Penny in the car. Though it's pitch black, the readout on the car radio is about 6:30. My first inclination would have been 6:30am, but later events make me believe it was pm.

Specifically, Penny takes a short nap, and shortly after seven, she wakes and Orianna isn't back yet. Now she's getting worried. Since it isn't light, and they're in California (or we assume so, because of the plates), I'm imagining it would be light if it was morning, so it must be nighttime. Naturally, Penny starts walking. As she does, she finds a small cabin and a pay phone. But she is startled when she finds the cord cut, and then she stumbles to knock her head on a rock.

When she comes to, she finds herself back in the car, and Orianna is sitting next to her. But he video camera from the back is in her lap. She presses play, and she sees a horrifying site - she watches Orianna being stalked, and then murdered. And she realizes that Orianna is next to her, but she's not alive. Then she realizes that the car is stuck in between two large trees, and she can't get out. Even if she rolls down the windows there is not enough room to escape. It's going to be a long night.

The events of the night unfold, and it seems that the hitchhiker is interested in tormenting her. She can't break the windows, and when she tries to slide out the window feet-first, he actually rips one of her toes off, and then sings "this little piggy". Very cruel indeed.

Suddenly, a light pierces the darkness, and a man appears. He'd like to help, and he heard her blowing the horn while he and his girlfriend were nearby, but he tells her that she's so wedged in, he doesn't think that there is anything that he can do. He'll go get help and then come right back. Penny is so torn up by then that she convinces him to stay, and she's managed to find the keys to the car - they were wedged in Orianna's mouth, so they try and start the car and back up. But as the man pushes, he gets a spike in the foot and is dragged under the car. Looks like the hitchhiker hasn't left her alone after all.

As morning nears, an arm comes through the trunk, and Penny bites it, then fights her way past to get out the trunk, and lock him in the car. Then she takes off for the highway (how she knows which way it is, I'm not sure, but still, she seems to head in the right direction), and she passes out right at the edge of the road. Unfortunately, her tormentor has made it out, and followed her, and they are fighting in the road, as a truck comes by and runs into him. The driver of the truck gets out and helps Penny into the truck, then gets out to help the hitchhiker. It looks like things have come full circle, as the fingers of the hitchhiker start to move and the screen fades to black...

The Bottom Line: The suspense is actually quite good. There are a few leaps to make, but altogether not bad. It would also be better if the movie would get up and move a bit faster from time to time, but that's not always possible either. Still well worth a viewing, and quite a surprise from somewhere that it wasn't really expected.

Rated R for violence/terror, some sexuality and language.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) Review

Chad Everett — Sat, 26 May 2007 08:45:00 -0500

A seemingly never-ending line of dirt-encrusted men, women and at least one child prepare to be hanged in the gallows, all to appease Lord Beckett (Tom Hollander) and his war on the pirates. As they march endlessly towards their doom, a cryer announces that item after item is suspended. No longer can people gather, demonstrate or even have lawyers. Instead, they can just die.

Then, a young lad, clutching a piece of eight, begins to softly sing. The song is gradually picked up by each of the others in line behind him, until it seems that everyone is singing the haunting song. This seems to do nothing more than infuriate Beckett.

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho,
thieves and beggars,
never shall we die.

The king and his men
stole the queen from her bed
and bound her in her Bones.
The seas be ours
and by the powers
where we will well roam.

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die.

Some men have died
and some are alive
and others sail on the sea
– with the keys to the cage...
and the Devil to pay
we lay to Fiddler's Green!

The bell has been raised
from it's watery grave...
Do you hear it's sepulchral tone?
We are a call to all,
pay head the squall
and turn your sail toward home!

Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die.

We then pick up on the latest installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean somewhere after Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest completed, with Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) are in Singapore to get some help on their mission to rescue Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from Davy Jones' Locker.

Unfortunately, that requires them to infiltrate the lair of Captain Sao Feng (Yun-Fat Chow), one of the nine pirate lords, especially known for his cruelty, in order to beg his help - or at least one of his ships and a crew. When they get there, they find that he's already thwarted their plans by capturing Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), who had planned on stealing the maps to make their journey easier. That would be bad.

Luckily, Gibbs (Kevin McNally) and the men were already in the process of sneaking in as well, so when things were just about to go from bad to really bad, Barbossa and Elizabeth at least had swords to work with. Unfortunately, that's when the East India Company chose to burst in on the proceedings as well.

The resulting chaos permits Will to break free, and the cover allows him to make a deal that will give him the ability to save his father, still imprisoned aboard the Flying Dutchman. At least, that's the intention. But it's not exactly an honorable deal. In the meantime, Barbossa, Elizabeth and Sao Feng come to an arrangement come to an arrangement for a ship and a crew that will allow them to rescue Jack, so the adventure begins.

After sailing for some time, it's becoming apparent that Barbossa is nearly as insane as Jack appears to be, for it looks like he's readying to sail the ship right off the edge of the world (this was a different time, when the world was flat, remember), and though everyone tries to turn it around, they don't quite make it, plunging off a massive waterfall and towards oblivion.

All of this happens in the first half-hour of the epic, which is nearly three hours in length. So as you can imagine, it's going to be a long ride. This may be worsened by the fact that there has been, as yet, no Jack Sparrow. That's about to change.

We see Jack on the Black Pearl, in the middle of the desert. This is, apparently, Davy Jone's Locker. It's a sort of maddening Limbo, because Jack isn't alone. Rather, he is alone, because no one else is there, but there isn't just one of him. That is to say that he is there in several incarnations, and he doesn't get along with all of these versions of himself. At least two of the dozen or so Jacks die rather quickly, killed by, well, Jack.

Then he loses it - yes, even more - and jumps off the ship into the sand, here he throws a rock, which turns into a crab (a nice bit of CGI), and that in turn becomes thousands of crabs. Those crabs come at the Pearl, and suddenly, it starts moving, borne ahead by a wave of crabs, so Jack struggles to get on board, and he does, just in time. Then the rest of the gang, who has crashed on shore, sees the Pearl cresting a dune, with Jack at the helm. It's rather surreal.

So much so, in fact, that Jack doesn't believe it. He thinks that his hallucinations have reached a new level, and that he's seeing other people now, in addition to himself. When he finally decides that the people there are indeed real people, he isn't so sure that he wants to take them back - they did, after all try to kill him (and one succeeded). But of course, they decide to head back, or else the movie would be over early.

On the way back, they encounter the dead by the thousands, floating over and under the water. They are apparently those that Jones is supposed to ferry to the underworld. Instead, he's imprisoned them here, and that's what makes him into the hideous beast that he is. One surprise guest is Elizabeth's father, and it seems that he's been tricked into his own death, which doesn't make her particularly happy.

The next day, as water is running dry, everyone is trying to figure out how they are going to get back, when it is none other than Jack sitting with the map and he figures out that "up is down" means that the ship needs to sail upside down - that is, under water - and so everyone starts frantically running back and forth to flip the ship upside-down. They do, and just in the nick of time, they see the green flash at sunset, which flips them back rightside-up, and they get back to the world of the living. Problem solved.

Now they have to get some fresh water, and as they do, they are met by Beckett and Sao Feng, who takes Elizabeth as his prize. Those pirates - they are always double-crossing someone. So much for the plan. Unfortunately, The East India Company sets upon Sao Feng, and Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and the Flying Dutchman make quick work of the ship, killing Sao Feng in the process. As he is dying, he leaves Elizabeth as captain of the ship.

After a brief interlude where we see that Admiral Norrington (Jack Davenport), who is currently in charge of the Flying Dutchman, still loves Elizabeth, and helps her escape, we also see him die for his transgression. Strangely, they don't go after Elizabeth and the ship, however. One of the oddities about the movie - surely they could have just turned around and captured them again?

Meanwhile, it is Beckett that has to deal with Jack, and they strike a deal whereby Jack will lead Beckett to the Pirate Court. Yet as he leaves, Jack manages to fire a cannon, which knocks out the mast of Beckett's ship, giving him a nice head start to Shipwreck Cove, the location of the Pirate Court. There, we meet Captain Teague (Keith Richards), who is none other than Jack's father.

He brings some order - such as there can be - to the court, and declares that only the Pirate King can declare war, and since there is no Pirate King, there can be no war. Jack thinks that war is the way to go, so he asks for a vote for king - yet since every pirate always votes for themselves, it is unlikely to produce a king. Jack, as usual, has something up his sleeve, and he casts his vote for Elizabeth, making her the Pirate King, and she does what she wanted to do all along - she declares war.

The next day, after a brief parlay because of the size of the East India Company fleet, the ships prepare for war. Just before they get there, Barbossa shows that he has a bit of double-crossing of his own. He has managed to collect the nine pieces of eight - actually nine pieces of junk, since the pirates never had any money - and he uses them to free the Sea Goddess Calypso from her human body (that of seer Tia Dalma), which he believes will help them fight Davy Jones.

Unfortunately, it seems that Calypso doesn't really like much of anyone - that's the reason that they imprisoned her in the human body in the first place. But Barbossa has a secret. He knows that it was Jones himself who suggested that they imprison her in the human body, and he tells her that as they are freeing her, so hopefully she will fight on their side. As she is freed, she grows into a super-sized seer, turns into crabs, and disappears overboard. Then it seems that there is nothing. Ah well.

Suddenly, the skies turn dark, and a massive maelstrom forms in the sea. The huge whirlpool threatens any ship that gets near it, and the Black Pearl, leading the charge of pirates, takes on the Flying Dutchman, leading the East India Company. What ensues can only be described as epic. The two ships battle for what seems to be hours, but in reality is probably 45 minutes. It's impressive. There are loads of computer-generated effects. People die. Will and Elizabeth are married on deck by Barbossa during the fight. It may make you forget the mess that is the first two hours or so. But it's still just a big battle.

Ultimately, Davy Jones loses, but before he does, he kills Will and Jack, who has been contemplating taking the heart of Jones himself, has a choice to make. Does he take immortality for himself - the selfish choice - or does he let it go to save his friend? He does what you may not expect and he helps Will stab the heart of Jones, which saves his life, while at the same time it loses it, because it means he must captain the Dutchman forever. But it's better than being dead, isn't it?

After this, the battle is effectively over. Strange, really, as the pirates are still vastly outnumbered. The Dutchman slips back under the water, then comes back as good as new with a new captain, which is fine. But then the Dutchman and the Pearl line up on either side of the Endeavor (Beckett's ship) and blow it to pieces. This is another impressive piece of effects. But that appears to be it. The huge number of ships left just run? I think that's unlikely. Just the large number of guns on the Endeavor could have decimated the Pearl. The pirates were way outnumbered. It wouldn't have been the "happy" ending, but it's still a bit odd.

Afterwards, we see Elizabeth spend her one day with Will, and then he will have to be at sea for ten years, ferrying souls to the afterworld. Then he will be able to come back for another day in ten years. We see Jack ashore at a dock, and Gibbs asleep on the dock, and Barbossa has taken off in the Pearl, but Jack is the one with the map, leading to the Fountain of Youth, so that may be the next sequel (if there is one).

If you sit through the credits (about 8 minutes of them), you will be treated to a short scene where Elizabeth stands on a bluff with her son, ten years later, and they see the green flash, followed by a boat coming in from sea - presumably the Dutchman.

The Bottom Line: The first one was the best. The second one wasn't very good. This one was better than the second one, and the introduction was simply haunting. But then it just went on and on and on. If they make a fourth, I'll likely see it, but I hope it's about an hour shorter. It doesn't have to be lengthy to be good. The one good thing is we went to an 8:45am showing on a Saturday, and there were about 15 people there. That was awesome.

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action/adventure violence and some frightening images.

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The Dead Girl (2006) Review

Chad Everett — Sat, 19 May 2007 21:00:00 -0500

We first meet Arden (Toni Collette) in the opening section, titled simply The Stranger, as she struggles to care for her abusive mother in what appears to be a rather run-down home. As Arden takes a walk, she comes across something rather unexpected in the field - the body of a young woman. For reasons known only to her, she takes the necklace the girl is wearing, and on returning home, she calls the police.

For a completely unexplained reason - perhaps because her mother wants to continue abusing her all by her lonesome - when she finds out that the police have come, Arden's mother is furious with her. I'm not sure exactly what Arden was supposed to do. Perhaps she should have just left the body in the field to rot and continue to be abused by her mother. I don't think it was really explained, and we are just left to figure out why her mother is so hateful. Maybe you can explain it if you have seen it, but I certainly didn't get it.

In any case, this sets the tone for the rest of the film.

The emergence of a body, and more specifically Arden's role in finding it, lends her a certain amount of celebrity status, something she is certainly not accustomed to receiving. When she goes shopping, she is asked out by Rudy (Giovanni Ribisi), and though she doesn't think she should go, something tugs at her to make the move and get away from her mother. Unfortunately her mother catches her putting on makeup, and that just fuels the fire of her hatred.

On their "date", it comes out that Arden has a fetish of her own. She wants to be tied up, to be ravished, perhaps even raped. This may come from the years of abuse, or from some secret desire that was awakened by seeing the dead body or from some other source, but nonetheless she shares her desires with Rudy, and his own morbid leanings towards the motives of serial killers. Is he the one who killed the dead girl?

Fade to the next section, The Sister, where we meet a forensics student, who thinks that she has found her long-lost sister, and so she can finally meet with some closure. And have we found the focus of the movie? The ability of those touched by The Dead Girl to give closure? Perhaps. I suppose that we'll have to keep moving.

The third section of the movie is The Wife, who hears about the murders, and the suspicions that she has about her husband suddenly take on an entirely new meaning. After all, where is it that he goes all those nights? Where is it that he is staying out to at all hours, and why isn't he at home, in bed all the time? But then, this scene fades to black without closure, so perhaps we're missing the point after all.

Next up we have The Mother, who is looking to find answers on why her daughter left home, and basically to find her own closure about how her daughter is living. Unfortunately, the answers aren't pretty, and to make matters worse, they come from a prostitute. So while this might be some closure, in the sense that she finds her daughter's place of residence - a run-down apartment, an addict girlfriend and a baby that she takes on as her own - her own daughter doesn't seem to be anywhere to be found. So again, the closure seems to be nowhere in sight.

Finally we have The Dead Girl, where we meet Krista (Brittany Murphy) for the first time. It seems that she's in search of her own way out, to get away from her own demons. She's trying to get to her daughter's birthday, but to do so, she's depending on a John, and he doesn't seem to care much about her. Why would he, when he's only paying her for the sex? Still, she manages to convince him to give her a ride, but when he gets a call to go into work early, he can't deliver, so she decides to hitchhike so she can make it on time.

It's Krista's bad luck that she's picked up by the husband who likes to take long rides at night, and it looks like we finally have our closure.

The Bottom Line: Though the movie is shot in near darkness much of the time, giving it the appropriate somber tone, the pace is really slow. Even though it clocks in at just an hour and a half, it seems at least twice as long because it takes so long to unfold. The sections are probably all necessary, but they just move so slowly that it's painful to watch, and getting to the end is really difficult.

Rated R for language, grisly images and sexuality/nudity.

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Shrek the Third (2007) Review

Chad Everett — Fri, 18 May 2007 16:00:00 -0500

That cuddly green ogre Shrek (Mike Myers) has returned for the third go-round, and this time the stakes are a bit higher. King Harold (John Cleese) has croaked (he's a frog, get it, he croaked?) and with one of his last breaths (he had several) he has left the reins of Far Far Away in the hands of Shrek and Fiona (Cameron Diaz).

Naturally, Shrek is thinking mostly of himself, and he isn't really interested. He just wants to go back to the swamp. So before the king dies, he asks if there is another option. Luckily, there is one. His name is Arthur. That's all that Shrek needs to hear. There is someone else who can handle running things and get dressed up, and he and Fiona can get out of there. So he and Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss (Antonio Banderas) board a ship and head out to find Arthur.

Before they can barely clear the dock, Fiona has some news for Shrek. It seems that she is pregnant. This doesn't really seem like good news to Shrek, but he puts on a happy face. Mostly because he's leaving. Along the voyage, he has dreams of all sorts of little ogre babies taking over the place. It reminds me of the Star Trek episode The Trouble with Tribbles - only with projectile vomit.

As it turns out, it's only the beginning of Shrek being a bit more humanized, because he doesn't think that he'll be a good dad. This theme will return later.

When the boat lands at Worcestershire (like the sauce) High, Shrek is happy to see the jousting team and a strapping lad who he thinks is Arthur, only to find out that it's not. The kid on the horse is none other than Lancelot. And that snobby girl over there is Guinevere. I'd imagine we'll see more from them later. The somewhat rejected kid that's hiding under the bag is Arthur. Luckily for Shrek, it doesn't really matter. He'll take what he can get.

On their way home, Arthur figures out that he doesn't want to be king, and the struggle for control of the boat manages to get them crashed on the rocks. That, in turn, allows them to meet up with the school's former magic teacher, Merlin (Eric Idle). See how the pieces all fall into place? If there is no fourth movie in the Shrek series, they can certainly do a King Arthur spinoff.

After a love-in with Merlin, who is afraid of his powers, and some more "my dad abandoned me" time with Arthur helps Shrek realize even more that he's afraid of being a bad father to his own kids, it's time to try and get back to Far Far Away, so Merlin zaps them back. The only bad effect with his out-of-practice magic is that Donkey and Puss swap bodies, which leads to a bit of humor.

Arriving back home, they find that Charming, having made friends at a bar for out-of-work villains, has rounded up a cast of characters including Captain Hook, the evil stepsisters (from Cinderella), Rumpelstiltskin, some enchanted trees, a wicked witch or two and a whole host of other evil-types to help him retake Far Far Away. Meanwhile the girls - Fiona, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White and Queen Lillian - have been taken prisoner.

When Shrek and company try and come into town, they are quickly captured as well, and Shrek is signed up to take place in Charming's great performance that night, where he plans to kill Shrek and take his rightful place in Happily Ever After After All - the stage production that he can never seem to get quite right.

As the play starts, no one really seems to care, and it's only as the girls come out, and the compatriots of Shrek - Pinocchio, the Gingerbread Man and everyone - that the audience get really excited. But it's when Arthur hits the stage and convinces all the villains that they don't have to be villains that the problem is averted.

Charming takes one last stab - both figuratively and literally - at Shrek, but Shrek doesn't let him take the opportunity, and catches the sword in his chains, ending the threat. It seems like Charming is done for (for real this time). Now, Shrek and Fiona can retire to the swamp with their triplets (yes, triplets!).

The Bottom Line: The first installment of the series was nothing short of groundbreaking. The second one wasn't as earth-shattering, but it was still entertaining. This time around, the animation actually improves, and is really quite impressive, but the story is rather weak. Overall, it felt something like a batch of leftovers, with the writers throwing in all the rest of the storybook characters that they could think of, and while it wasn't exactly bad, that doesn't mean it was good. More than once I found myself looking at my watch, and that's not a good sign for such a short movie.

Rated PG for some crude humor, suggestive content and swashbuckling action.

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Night at the Museum (2006) Review

Chad Everett — Sun, 13 May 2007 14:20:00 -0500

Hapless Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) is in danger of losing his son, Nick (Jake Cherry). He's not really concerned about his ex-wife, but Nick? That worries him. Especially when Nick mentions that he's ready to hang up his hockey skates and start practicing to be a stockbroker, like his new dad, Don (Paul Rudd).

Spurred on by the thought of losing his son's hockey career to the over-achieving Don - or at least to his utility belt of cell phones, Larry decides that he needs to get on with his life and do something. So begging for a job at the unemployment office, he begs for just about anything. What he gets is something that no one would have expected.

You see, Larry gets a job as a night watchman and the Museum of Natural History. And as they say, history has a way of coming to life. It's never been more true than it is at this place after they lock the doors for the night.

Before Larry gets the job, he has to make it through the interview. Despite being given the once-over by pugilistic Gus (Mickey Rooney), and catching a wary eye from Reginald (Bill Cobbs), head watchman Cecil (Dick Van Dyke) takes an immediate liking to Larry and that's what gets him in the door.

It seems that these three old codgers are being shuffled out the door in favor of someone younger - and without a pension. So they aren't too happy about him coming in to take their place. But they seem to think that he might be the one to do the job. He can start that night. Cecil gives Larry The Manual - which is really just a thick stack of papers, with plenty of stains on it - and a ring of keys, instructions to do everything in the manual in the order that they are listed, and with well wishes, Larry is left alone. Well, without any human company anyway.

As soon as he's alone, we discover why Larry has been drifting from job to job. It seems that his attention span isn't very long. He plays with the intercom and falls asleep, and before you know it, he's out. He didn't even remember to do anything in the manual. So halfway through the night, he is out cold. Then he falls out of his chair, startling himself enough to wake up, and realize that he needs to use the restroom. On his way there, he realizes that he's managed to miss something. The large dinosaur skeleton is missing. Gone. It's apparently completely disappeared while he was napping.

Only then does he realize that it isn't exactly missing. It's alive.

A frantic call to Cecil reminds him that he hasn't yet read the manual, and that returns Larry to reality. It leads him to step 1, which is actually quite simple. It reads plainly: Throw the bone. You see, the dinosaur isn't chasing him. It wants to play fetch. And the scary moment turns into a touching one. A massive T-Rex skeleton is rather intimidating, however, and can make quite a mess, however.

The next step is a little more challenging: Lock up the lions or they will eat you. Larry then has to remember where to find the lions, but he manages to find his way to the Africa exhibit and make his way through, but not before realizing that Dexter the monkey stole his keys. Unfortunately he didn't realize that was on the instruction sheet, and now it's too late. The keys are gone. Larry does manage to get the keys back, but at the expense of the instruction sheet - Dexter eats it for a midnight snack.

As it turns out, the entire museum comes to life, courtesy of the tablet of Ahkmenrah. Larry is told this by none other than Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams), who helps him through the first night. By the next morning, Larry is ready to quit, but on the steps of the museum, Larry meets up with his son Nick, who's excited that his dad is working there, so he decides to come back for one more go.

The next night, Larry is ready to meet the challenge head-on, and he does well for a while. But then things start to go a little haywire. It seems that the Romans, led by a conquest-happy centurion (Steve Coogan) are trying to break through their display in an attempt to gain more ground. That leads them to conflict with the neighboring cowboys, led by Jedediah (Owen Wilson), a cowboy with an inferiority complex.

This actually leads to Larry's first problems with Dr. McPhee (Ricky Gervais), the curator of the museum, when the stocks in the cowboy exhibit end up with a roman in them the next morning. Very picky that this guy notices such a small change in one of the displays.

All over the museum there are problems, and perhaps none of them are worse than little Dexter, who insists on causing Larry issues at every turn, and the most challenging is the fact that when he steals the keys, it runs the risk of some of the exhibits getting out of the museum, and anyone caught outside when the sun rises will turn to dust.

The second night generally runs smoothly (relatively speaking), but the Neanderthal exhibit sets fire to themselves, so Larry puts them out with a fire extinguisher, and one of them escapes out a window, but can't get back inside in time, so turns to dust in the morning. Strangely, though the fire extinguisher is mentioned, the fact that one of the men is missing doesn't really come up.

And that just about gets him fired (again). In fact, Nick and his friends see this exchange with the curator of the museum, and that causes some grief. But that sets up the conclusion of the movie in the third night, where Larry sets the stage for Nick by bringing him into the museum to see everything come to life. Larry is now determined not to lose this job.

So he brings Nick in, and at sundown, he tells Nick to get ready and... nothing. Absolutely nothing. Larry goes to check on the tablet and finds that it's missing. Someone has stolen the tablet! Just about that time, Cecil, Gus and Reginald show up to tell Larry that he's just a patsy that they needed to secure their retirement, and lock him in the tomb with the mummy - but before they do, Larry convinces Nick to turn one of the panels on the tablet, which brings the museum back to life. That, in turn, brings the mummy to life, and that's how Larry and Nick get out of their jail.

You see, Ahkmenrah can speak English (as well as a number of other languages), so he can help round up the denizens of the museum and capture the three who are trying to make off with the tablet, so one of the more bizarre chases that Manhattan has ever seen now ensues. There are animals and dinosaurs (well, dinosaur skeletons) and even a small remote control car, driven by the now-friendly centurion and cowboy that chase down Cecil in his stagecoach.

It all comes down to Larry, who managed to do some boning up on his history, and in so doing he found out the secret word to stop the horses. So he shouts Dakota, which stops the horses, and the museum is saved. With the help of Ahkmenrah, everyone is rounded back up, and just in time everyone gets back inside. Unfortunately, the museum is a mess.

When Dr. McPhee comes back in, it looks like Larry is about to be fired. There are news reports of dinosaur tracks in the snow, of cave drawings in the subway and it's all over. But then they go out front and there are huge lines of people. That's enough to save Larry's job (again), and he's firmly cemented his place as the new night watchman.

The Bottom Line: Though I'm really not a huge fan of Ben Stiller (he tends to grate on my nerves), here he delivers a solid performance. Often his over-the-top antics will make the role suffer, but he tones it down, and it shows in his work. There are a lot of supporting roles, and that can lead to some confusion, but it comes together nicely.

Rated PG for mild action, language and brief rude humor.

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Vegas Vacation (1997) Review

Chad Everett — Fri, 11 May 2007 20:00:00 -0500

Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) is ready to treat the family to a completely new sort of vacation - in Las Vegas! Of course, if you know Clark, you know that he doesn't always think things through, and though his plan this time around seems to be to spend time with his family (as always), he is sidetracked (as always) by the allure of making easy money at the gambling tables.

Naturally he is joined by his lovely wife Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo), and they also bring along kids Audrey (Marisol Nichols) and Rusty (Ethan Embry). As with the prior films in the "series", in this go-round where the kids are played by different actors than their predecessors.

Once arriving in family-friendly Las Vegas, Clark rapidly begins to lose money, because he really isn't a very good gambler. You may actually think that he isn't a very good father or husband, and you may be right on that point, but give him a chance. Luckily, Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) shows up in the casino, and that turns things around.

Not Clark's luck, mind you, but the humor. Just as in the prior movies, Cousin Eddie adds a certain levity to the proceedings. Perhaps it is the plate in his head, or the fact that his family lives in a trailer on a former nuclear testing ground, or that they cook chicken on a rock in the yard. Say what you will about Cousin Eddie, but his motives cannot be questioned. When he finds out that Clark has lost more than twenty thousand dollars, he promptly volunteers his own meager funds to help. Unfortunately, the stash is buried in his yard in various containers, so they have to dig for a while to find much of anything, but it's the thought that counts.

As Clark's luck goes bad, the family's luck improves. Ellen meets her longtime idol Wayne Newton (playing himself), while Russ gets himself a fake driver's license and starts winning cars at slot machines and then meets a quasi-mob character who takes him under his wing to get massages and learn how to dress. Audrey, meanwhile, learns from Eddie's daughter Vicki (Shae D'Lyn) how to party.

Everything comes to a head as Clark loses money, even at the off-strip casino, where he can't buy a win. He loses games like "guess the number" and "choose a hand", and suddenly has a revelation. It's his family that's important. So he returns to town to rescue his family, which doesn't really need rescuing, and just as they are about to reunite, he tells them just how much money he's lost. So they gather up their last $2 and go to play a round of Keno to get it all back.

The one round of Keno is a bust, but sitting next to the nice Mr. Ellis (Sid Caesar) was a stroke of luck. The old man just needed a family, and that's what they gave him. He died, but before he did, he won that game of Keno, and with it, they scored $30,000, enough to win back everything Clark lost. That, couple with the four cars Rusty won, gives them a sizable profit to return to Chicago.

The Bottom Line: The venerable Vacation franchise is wearing thin with this installment - especially as Chevy Chase ages to the point of believability (worsened by the fact that his children don't seem age at all). Yet somehow the formula continues to work here. I'm not sure if it could deliver another winner, but at least in this go-round, it's worth a viewing.

Rated PG for sensuality, language and thematic elements.

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Con Air (1997) Review

Chad Everett — Sun, 06 May 2007 16:00:00 -0500

Just as Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage) comes home to visit his wife, he is met by a few less-than-upstanding citizens who want to cause trouble. Unfortunately for them, Poe is an Army Ranger, which means that they probably aren't in the best position when it comes to a fight.

So when they decide to ambush him outside the bar, Poe gets the best of them. But when all is said and done, and one of them ends up dead on the ground, it is Poe who gets the short end of the stick. All he was doing was protecting his wife, but since he is trained as a deadly weapon, he ends up in prison.

After eight years in prison, he finally gets to go home and meet his little girl, who he has never met. He has corresponded with her, but he apparently wouldn't let her come see him in prison. Instead, he just ate her pink coconut treats, which he shared with his co-convict.

At least they helped him make a friend, because during one prison riot, his friend Mike "Baby-O" O'Dell (Mykelti Williamson) pulled him out of the fire, all because of the pink coconut treats.

Now it is eight years after he was incarcerated, and Poe is just a plane ride away from freedom. All he has to do is take that ride and he'll be able to see his wife and little girl. So with Baby-O and several of the worst criminals the country has to offer, they get on board the Jailbird, a plane operated by the US Marshal service to ferry prisoners around the system.

Unfortunately for Poe, some of the prisoners have other plans for the plane.

A plan masterminded by Cyrus "The Virus" Grissom (John Malkovich) has them taking over the plane. Cyrus earned his nickname because people say he has killed more people than some viruses. So he, along with Nathan "Diamond Dog" Jones (Ving Rhames) and several other prisoners, set their plan in motion.

As the plane taxis down the runway, the prisoners pull pins out of their hands and take off their cuffs. Joe "Pinball" Parker (Dave Chappelle), who hid gasoline and a match in a condom in his throat, sets another prisoner on fire, and in the confusion, the inmates take over the plane. Poe knows that things are bad, but he keeps his cool in the hopes that it will turn out eventually.

While he has the opportunity to get off the plane, Baby-O has diabetes, and it seems that in the confusion, all the needles to administer insulin were broken. So he decides to stick it out to see if he can save his friend, as well as one of the guards who is still on the plane.

In Carson City, Swamp Thing (M.C. Gainey of Lost) joins the crew to take over the pilot duties, and they head for the rendezvous point.

Along the way, they find the body of Pinball, stuck in the landing gear, and Poe writes a note on him and drops him to the ground, which sends a message to Marshal Vince Larkin (John Cusack), who is trying to track the plane.

The rendezvous, at a small field, is where things start to go bad. First, Swamp Thing has to bring the plane down just short of the propane tank, so it gets stuck in the sand. Then the promised jet doesn't show. Or rather, it does, but the drug lord who promised it would be there has it holed up in a hangar, and Cyrus gets mad about that, and the plane ends up on fire - along with the drug lord.

So the inmates have to pull the plane out, but as they work on that, the Marshals show up, and a massive firefight ensues. Finally the plane gets out, and they take off, towing a car (which is an interesting sight to see).

The finale hinges on Poe taking over the plane, and a fancy landing on the Las Vegas strip, followed by a pretty impressive chase along the freeways of Las Vegas on motorcycles and fire engines. It's actually a bit much. But Poe makes it back to see his wife and daughter in the end.

It probably would have been better without the whole Las Vegas part, as that just goes too far over the top. In fact, it's like Speed, where it's good up until the end and the it just goes a little haywire and gets completely over the top.

The Bottom Line: It's hard to determine just what we should believe sometimes. After all, if we take most movies at face value, prisoners are let out and left to stand by the road when their terms are served. So why would Nicolas Cage be any different? Still, if that's the only leap of faith that we need to take, it's not really a bad one. It's not, of course, with a huge number of high-profile criminal masterminds being placed onto the same plane at the same time, but even so, up until the final chase through the streets of Las Vegas, everything is really pretty bearable. That last chase scene could have been dropped entirely without affecting much, however. Still, it's an enjoyable ride.

Rated R for language and violence.

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The Devil's Advocate (1997) Review

Chad Everett — Sun, 06 May 2007 14:00:00 -0500

Kevin Lomax (Keanu Reeves) may be the best trial lawyer you ever meet. He's never lost a case. So when he manages to win one where he just knows the guy is guilty, he attracts some unexpected attention.

He gets an invitation from a fancy New York City law firm to come up and visit, all expenses paid, to pick a jury. And what's more is that he gets to bring his wife Mary Ann (Charlize Theron) along for the ride. It's too good to be true.

This is perhaps where the whole thing falls apart. I know that it's a movie and so you have to suspend some parts of your mind, but can you realistically believe that he can pick a jury, have the trial and still be hanging around, all on the dime of this law firm? The movie makes it seem like it happens in a matter of minutes, while in real life that would probably take at least days, if not months. But if that's the only problem, it's not really that bad.

Naturally, Kevin's jury wins the trial, and that in turn gets him an invitation from the firm's boss, John Milton (Al Pacino) to stick around full-time. Compared to Gainesville - portrayed as a little more backwoods than it perhaps is - the offer is a good one, and Kevin and Mary Ann decide to stay.

Before long, Kevin is wrapped up in work, and Mary Ann is decidedly unhappy with the way that things are going. At least back home, they were able to spend time together. Maybe money isn't the answer to everything. But Kevin seems happy, so she bites her tongue and tries to spend her days with the other wives. That lasts for a while, until she starts seeing really bizarre things in these women.

Kevin, meanwhile, is given his first case - the opportunity to defend a man who is accused of killing a goat in his basement. This doesn't really seem like a case that a massive corporate law firm should be taking, but he figures it's some kind of test, to see if he can handle the pressure, and sure enough he does. He's told by Milton that the guy has $15 million, so that's why they wanted to be able to handle his criminal problems as well.

After that, Kevin gets another assignment when a huge real estate developer - who seems to be loosely based on Donald Trump, if his garish apartment is any indication - is accused of killing three people. Kevin gets the call to defend him.

As the Kevin and Mary Ann spiral ever downward in their relationship with each other, the pressure mounts, until eventually Kevin's mother visits from back home, and tells Kevin what we already suspect. That the reason she is so afraid of the big city is that she did visit it once, when she was on her senior trip. And she met a waiter, who was nice to her and took her in, and she had a child from that man.

Yes, it seems that waiter has gone on to be a big-shot lawyer, so Kevin, meet your new daddy: John Milton. Oh, and by the way - he's also Satan, intent on making sure that all these criminals don't get punished for the things they do.

The Bottom Line: Al Pacino is always worth a watch, even if he is up against Keanu, who may not be the best actor in the world. The story isn't the most interesting one in the world, but luckily it's delivered by a decent array of actors, which makes it very watchable. And lest you think I give it all away, I haven't. There are still a couple of twists left at the end for those that are curious enough to give it a watch.

Rated R for sexuality, nudity, violence and language.

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Lake Placid (1999) Review

Chad Everett — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 16:00:00 -0500

A local sheriff (Brendan Gleeson) pulls a diver out of Black Lake (they wanted to call it Lake Placid, but that name was already taken), only to find that he's been bitten in half. What they find is a tooth, and this gets sent to a museum for analysis.

The tooth ends up in the hands of Kelly Scott (Bridget Fonda), who doesn't usually do field research, and most certainly not in Maine. But because her boss - and boyfriend - has decided to do a little extra-curricular activity of his own with her friend, she ends up in the backwoods. This may or may not be a good choice.

When she gets there, she is greeted by the sheriff and equally sarcastic (but good looking) fish and game agent Jack Wells (Bill Pullman). Jack and the sheriff are headed out to investigate things on the lake, and he doesn't want to take a woman along at all, much less a city girl who isn't interested in camping out, but she manages to wrangle herself a ticket to the show.

Once there, they meet up with crocodile hunter Hector Cyr (Oliver Platt). Hector is eccentric, which is a nice way of saying that he's a mental case. If he had a bit less money, they would simply lock him up and throw away the key. But since he is rich, and brought along a bunch of expensive equipment, they let him stay, as long as he agrees to stay out of the way. Naturally, he doesn't.

No one wants to believe that they have a crocodile here in rural Maine, but before long, they've found the beast, who looks to be about 30 feet long, and that's in the water.

As they argue about what it is or is not, they see the beast crawl out, grab a massive bear, eat it, and crawl back in. Then everyone believes that they do indeed have a crocodile on their hands.

Searching the water for him, they can't seem to find him, but they do find a cow (or two) on the bottom, and that leads them back to the lakeside farm of Mrs. Delores Bickerman (Betty White).

Mrs. Bickerman previously said that she hadn't seen anything odd, but once pressured, she admits not only that she had been feeding the crocodile, but that her husband, who had gone missing, managed to get in between the crocodile and one of the horses that he wanted to eat. She seems to have been feeding him for about six years!

The sheriff and Jack want to take him out, but Kelly and Hector manage to convince them to try and capture him first, so that's just what they try and do. Dangling one of Mrs. Bickerman's cows from Hector's helicopters, they lure him into shore, and shoot the crocodile with tranquilizers, which don't seem to do much at all. Fortunately, he comes after them and gets tangled in the helicopter itself. It's not exactly a cage, but it does the trick long enough to get him doped up some more.

Unfortunately, there's another crocodile, which the sheriff manages to take care of with his big gun.

What Mrs. Bickerman doesn't mention is that there are several more babies that she's been feeding. So there may be a sequel one day (there is, in fact, a Lake Placid 2 that aired on the SciFi Channel in 2007).

Rated R for violent creature attacks and related gore, and for language.

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