So one day when his employer, Zander Kelly (Dennis Miller) comes across him cleaning the lobby and decides to put him on the show, the whole world gets to hear about the adventures of Joe Dirt and just how he got to where he is today. Perhaps the strangest thing of all is that by the end of the story, what started as poking some fun at the guy who didn’t fit turns into a story of triumph.

A number of years ago, Joe was abandoned at the Grand Canyon by his mom and dad (as he scrounged in the garbage for something good). Joe was 8 years old. Ever since, he’s been on his own, searching for some way to find his parents, and perhaps more importantly, his own place in life.

One day he was in the country as he spotted a meteor, and for a while he hauled it around with him in a red wagon. As he climbed a hill and came to Silvertown, he decided to have his ever-present friend the meteor appraised, only to find out that it was a chunk of frozen poo from an airliner, who apparently dumped it high in the sky. At least there is good news. He had found a home.

In Silvertown, he met Brandy (Brittany Daniel). One night, he managed to help out her dog and they were fast friends ever since. Apparently Brandy had a thing for Joe, but Joe never realized it, and after the dog met his unfortunate end, he decided that he needed to get going on his quest to find his parents, leaving Brandy – and Silvertown – behind.

Then he met Kicking Wing (Adam Beach), and American Indian with a fireworks stand that didn’t sell the “good stuff”. Instead, he had only sparklers and snakes, and he wasn’t doing well. Joe helped him realize what he needed to do to profit, and in turn, Kicking Wing helped Joe get to the next town by digging up an old atom bomb. It turned out that it wasn’t an atom bomb – it was a septic tank from an RV, and once again Joe found some poo. But it did get him a list of names that was at the Grand Canyon, and Joe set off again on his quest.

On the way, he met Clem (Christopher Walken), who was in the witness protection program, Charlene (Rosanna Arquette) and Jill (Jaime Pressly), who might have been his sister. But in the end, Joe was alone again, and he turned up empty-handed.

What he did find was that people loved his story and that he had a slogan: “Life’s a garden, dig it!” In fact, he wrote a book, and appeared on TRL in New York, and that’s when his parents came to him. Though he thought they were dead, they called and he suddenly had to go back to California, which is where he found out just how horrible they were, and then he was all alone again, and he finally decided to throw in the towel by jumping off a bridge.

That’s when Brandy finally shows up. As she runs to him, he realizes that she’s been there all along, and a police officer ropes him (with bungee cords?), and Joe ends up falling off the bridge anyway, and because of the odd choice of lasso, he does a bungee jump from the bridge, bumping his head. When he wakes, he’s in Silvertown, and he sees all the friends he made – plus he gets a new wig for his head. Something more “contemporary”.

While this certainly won’t win any awards, it’s great fun to watch. Just sit back and enjoy. You may not want to tell your friends about it, however. Unless they are next to you, in which case they’ll enjoy it too.

Rated PG-13 for crude and sex-related humor, and for language.

Unfortunately when she gets to the airport, she finds out that her flights has been delayed, and it looks like she’ll be on the red eye back to Miami. That’s when a rather boisterous passenger gets upset about having to wait in line while others (who are about to miss their flights) get to go ahead of him. That’s host most of us would act – but Lisa takes it in stride and tries to help out the overwhelmed customer service people. She’s just that kind of person.

There is even another passenger behind her who helps out, and the whole situation is rapidly defused. The guy behind her even offers to buy her some nachos at a great restaurant across form their gate, because it turns out that they are on the same flight. She politely declines, and proceeds to make some busywork until it’s time to leave. But when she gets to the gate, she sees him sitting next to an empty chair and sits down to talk.

When she boards the plane, it turns out that they are seated next to one another, and they strike up yet another conversation, but as they take off her fear of flying surfaces, and he keeps her talking about her family in order to distract her mind so she doesn’t think about the turbulence of the plane, and she thanks him. That’s when things take a decidedly different turn. It seems that he is sitting next to her for a reason – he needs Lisa to call her hotel and have a VIP moved to a particular suite, because he has business to conduct. What’s more, if she doesn’t, her father will be killed by someone sitting outside his house right this minute.

Lisa’s first reaction is how any of us would react – how could this be happening? But slowly she comes to terms with it, and tries to escape – by writing notes and signaling stewardesses. Eventually, however, she has to call her hotel and make the change. As the plane lands, however, she had managed to sneak a ball point pen from another passenger, and she jabs it into the throat of her tormentor, and she grabs his cell phone and takes off into the terminal.

As she tries to get to her father and warn him, her seatmate gives pursuit. Lisa does manage to warn the VIP, just in time to get him and his family to safety as a rocket, fired from a fishing boat, slams into the top floors of the hotel. Meanwhile, she gets to her father’s house and is able to save him from the hit man outside, but then the guy from the plane shows up in a thrilling climax. Naturally, everyone is safe and Lisa saves the day, but it is quite an exciting ride.

Keep your eyes out for Keefe’s head of security – that’s none other than Colby Donaldson of Survivor fame.

Rated PG-13 for some intense sequences of violence, and language.

In this third go-round, Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) are, as you may imagine by the title, getting married. As you may also surmise, simply because you’ve been paying attention previously, things probably aren’t going to go quite as expected along the way, and you’d be right, even if you hadn’t seen a single preview of the actual movie.

Sure, the gang’s all back – though not quite as you remember. Stifler (Seann William Scott in the role he was born to play) is, well, stiff, and it’s not in the way you’d expect. It’s like he’s grown tired of the role, and instead of being the relaxed, easy-going stiff-man, he’s over-the-top and just not enjoyable.

Band geek Michelle is back too, and her libido is in overdrive but her role in the movie is somewhat limited (though she really has some choice bits). The same can actually be said for Jim and perpetual lush Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) as well.

In the end, nothing new can be said – Jim gets in trouble, his pals save him, Stifler does something gross along the way (in new and previously unimaginable ways), Jim’s dad (Eugene Levy who thankfully returns) comes through for everyone (even the bride to be) and in the end, it’s just good to be alive. Enjoyable, but you don’t want too much at once.

Rated R for sexual content, language and crude humor. The humor hits a new level here, and crude doesn’t being to describe it. It’s crude alright. Really crude. Keep the kids away from this one. Heck, make sure they’re not even in the house if you can do so, but they’ll be chomping at the bit if they’re old enough.