The Wild Hogs of the title aren’t exactly a biker gang. They just pretend to be one on weekends and for the occasional ride during the week. But Doug (Tim Allen) and his crew have all hit something of a milestone. Actually, it’s a mid-life crisis. Just don’t tell them that.

So one day on their ride they decide that they are ready to take a real ride. A cross-country ride. And what a ride it will be, with the wind in their hair (or what hair they have left, at any rate) and a real chance at freedom. Or at least as close as they are probably going to get at any point in the near future.

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I can’t say if I’m a Harry Potter fan or not. At least one of the kids is, as he’s read the books (even if he’s not supposed to have read all of them yet). The other one is, because his brother is, but he’s actually getting at the age where he’s starting to be contrary about it, so I’m not even sure how to classify him.

Whatever the case, I think the movies in the series are starting to fall into a bit of a rut. Either that, or I am. I can certainly admit to enjoying the first, second, and probably even the third in the series. But by the time the four came along, it was getting to be a bit much. I think it had to do with the size of the stories. The Sorcerer’s Stone was three-hundred something pages. The Order of the Phoenix was nearly 900! At some point, it’s just too much for my brain to handle.

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Though I have often been called a geek, it’s usually because I like computers and such.  I did collect comics when I was younger (okay, when I was older too), but not as much as some other people I knew.  I’ve always been more of a technical geek than a hidden-away-geek.  Not that there’s anything wrong with either.

As such, I’m generally on the periphery of most movies that have anything to do with comicdom.  I can typically keep up – while my wife would often run or walk the other way – and I can often enjoy them to at least some degree.  But in this case, I didn’t so much.  I liked the original Fantastic Four, and I’m aware enough of who the Silver Surfer was to be able to keep up, but I just didn’t really care for this sequel.

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A seemingly never-ending line of dirt-encrusted men, women and at least one child prepare to be hanged in the gallows, all to appease Lord Beckett (Tom Hollander) and his war on the pirates. As they march endlessly towards their doom, a cryer announces that item after item is suspended. No longer can people gather, demonstrate or even have lawyers. Instead, they can just die.

Then, a young lad, clutching a piece of eight, begins to softly sing. The song is gradually picked up by each of the others in line behind him, until it seems that everyone is singing the haunting song. This seems to do nothing more than infuriate Beckett.

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That cuddly green ogre Shrek (Mike Myers) has returned for the third go-round, and this time the stakes are a bit higher. King Harold (John Cleese) has croaked (he’s a frog, get it, he croaked?) and with one of his last breaths (he had several) he has left the reins of Far Far Away in the hands of Shrek and Fiona (Cameron Diaz).

Naturally, Shrek is thinking mostly of himself, and he isn’t really interested. He just wants to go back to the swamp. So before the king dies, he asks if there is another option. Luckily, there is one. His name is Arthur. That’s all that Shrek needs to hear. There is someone else who can handle running things and get dressed up, and he and Fiona can get out of there. So he and Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss (Antonio Banderas) board a ship and head out to find Arthur.

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This movie started in interesting fashion, with a driver picking up a hitchhiker and some relatively minor chit-chat happening until the hitcher asks if the driver is interested in guys (the hitcher himself is a man as well). At that point, the driver kicks him out, and you’re left wondering just what is happening here. But that doesn’t last long.

Next up, the driver pulls his truck over and opens up the bed of the truck to reveal a girl, bound and tied, and we get to see her dig her own grave, before (presumably) being killed by the driver of the truck. This isn’t actually shown, which would probably increase the suspense a bit, but it’s really a bit early on to do much more than whet the appetite. Shift to another car load, and you’re still wondering what’s happening.

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